


Persistence

by Dzuljeta



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Because they need no-one else, Disillusion, Episode Fix-It: s04e13 Journey's End, Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Frustration, Tears, Telepathic Bond, Telepathy, The TARDIS is on Rose's Side, Time Lady Rose, Time Travel, Understanding, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:53:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6726640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dzuljeta/pseuds/Dzuljeta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm sorry," the meta-crisis Doctor has said to Rose during Journey's End... And everything was bound to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Persistence**

**Chapter One**

* * *

" _And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"_

* * *

Rose was no longer sure about anything. The Doctor, the man she loved – the only one she loved – would love _forever_ \- he was driving her away, after _everything_? She wanted to slap him, kick him, cause him all sorts of physical pain – but all she could do was to keep her façade and pretend to be stronger than this. She, Rose Tyler, was not going to cry in front of them. In front of _him_.

The other Doctor was hurrying to Rose then, whispering something to her. In all this shock, his soft words were barely understandable to her. "I'm sorry. So sorry, Rose! You must stay with him… where you belong! Go, get inside the TARDIS before he sees you!"

This, she understood very well. _What?_

"What about _you_?" _What about_ our _future?_

The not-really-her-Doctor shook his head. "I will evaporate, like a dust in the wind… in an hour or two. The planet's atmosphere – it's _killing_ me, and there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry..."

Rose could see the unpleasant changes in him already. Could _feel_ them. His life, slipping away, little by little… His eyes, losing the admirable hazel shade… She held her breath, not wishing to know _where_ the dreadful knowledge of someone's existence coming to an end has come from.

"You love _him_. Not some sort of – let's face it - a _magnificent_ alien born from _a hand_!" He grimaced. It wasn't fair, he knew. Not fair towards him or her… but was life ever fair?

She gave him a brief kiss on the lips on impulse. If this has indeed been the end – he has sure at least deserved a pleasant one.

"See… it was worth living for a day for this kiss alone," the half-human Doctor smiled at her sadly. "Go now, Rose Tyler. The TARDIS will know where to hide you until the worst passes. Go, go! I will say your goodbyes for you."

With her eyes full of tears, she went to the TARDIS. Somehow, she knew this was going to be the last time of her having seen her family. Rose knew the ones closest to her would understand.

* * *

Rose has found herself in a cosy little room to hide in almost the moment she stepped onto the clever ship again. _Thank you, thank you..._

But being thankful was _not_ it. All she felt like doing at that moment was crying her eyes out. For the Doctor who could not have stayed by her side until the end of their days. For the Doctor who had died just to save her... But most of all - for the Doctor who was right here on the TARDIS. The one who seemed to have preferred living his life utterly alone.

It was then she heard him pacing. To and fro, to and fro. Rose believed she could sense his distress and sorrow through all these walls separating them... but she was afraid the Doctor would send her away the moment she showed herself. With her tears still flowing, Rose covered her ears with a pillow and cried herself to sleep.

The Doctor believed that has been the best alternative for Rose. Leaving her with the mortal version of him must have been the only right choice... Why, then, he felt like damning himself?! He should have felt relieved about having come up with such a terrific plan... but all he could feel was emptiness. All he could blame was himself, the look in Rose's eyes he remembered blank and resigned. She has finally understood who he was. Someone unable to love.

He sighed heavily. This was it – he has done the right thing. Rose was going to be happy with the meta-crisis version of him, possibly get married and have children… No, now he has just made himself sad. He needed to find something to do, some planet to save, perhaps… But it was too soon for that. Not when all he could think of was the blonde woman he had left without as much as a goodbye.

She had the other Doctor to herself now. They were going to be happy together… he wouldn't be afraid to tell her these three words, and-"

"Oh, _Rose_ -" the Time Lord breathed her name as if it were a prayer. He was not ready to let go. Even if she were in someone else's arms now, even if-

The TARDIS could not take this foolishness any more, buzzing in disapproval. This had to end. Right now.

* * *

Rose Tyler awoke to the ground shaking under her feet. She was not one to get frightened easily. _What is it, old girl? Is someone trying to get inside?_ The Londoner could remember very well the Doctor kept boasting about his ship being unbreakable. "Are we in danger?"

The ship remained quiet. The meta-crisis version of her Doctor had come up with a plan much more acceptable than _her_ Time Lord. Self-inflicted torment was never something she approved of.

The vessel gave away no sign of having heard her. "What is happening? What is wrong? Tell me, old girl! I need to know- is the- is the Doctor all right?"

She could have shown Rose straight to the Time Lord's chamber, one she'd needed to have taken certain measures to get him into. Something to tire him down enough to crave for his chamber and his bed – the one thing even the clever ship has not expected for was Rose's name on his lips before the induced sleep took him over. This was only for the better…

With both of her subjects asleep, it was just about time for the TARDIS to take matters in her hands.

The Doctor could _feel_ something was wrong – but the induced sleepiness would only have left him completely in three minutes and thirty three seconds. He knew his ship liked to do this whenever she was angry at him for something.

"I am angry at _myself_ for this, old girl! You needn't have bothered! And I get enough nightmares without your help, thank you!" Usually, the forced sleep meant nightmares were even more horrific than the ones from the War. But never so devastating as _this_ one. Rose was calling him, all bloody and on the verge of dying in some winged beast's arms- but this was not the worst part. Rose was laughing at him. Laughing at his inability to save her, even when the beast was biting parts of her body off. _He is still better than you_ , she pointed.

"No, no! Rose!" His mind was slow to let go of the dreadful nightmare. Then, he remembered.

 _What have I done?_ The Doctor stared at the ceiling for a painful moment, before he understood the TARDIS flooring was unstable. All he needed was an earthquake, with one already in his mind as it were.

Besides, such happenings were impossible on his TARDIS. No earthquake outside could have had such an effect inside! She was his ship. He knew what could happen on his ship. Well, mostly anything, but earthquakes were not included in the list.

"What is it, old girl? Is there something I need to check in your circuits?"

Silence.

"Tell me. Please, TARDIS! We can work this out together!"

"She _won't_ tell. Trust me, Doctor, I've tried _everything_."

The very eyes from his nightmare were now laughing at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously…**

" _She_ won't _tell. Trust me, Doctor, I've tried everything."_

_The very eyes from his nightmare were now laughing at him._

* * *

 

**Persistence**

**Chapter Two**

The Doctor backed away instantly, staring at her in disbelief, holding his breath. This couldn't be!

The next moment, he approached the young woman, his cool searching fingers softly touching her face. At least Rose did not seem to be covered in blood and seemed to have had her body intact... all fingers in place, no visible bruises…

Rose was watching him curiously, her worried expression having brought him back to reality at once.

 _Fool! That_ _has only been a dreadful dream!_ The Doctor would have preferred to have quite different dreams about her, if he were being honest… But this was not the time.

He took some steps back, his eyes wide. There had to be some logical explanation to this. The ground shaking under his – under _their_ feet was of no importance all of a sudden. Rose was here. _Rose_.

She spoke after a while of fruitless waiting for him to say something. "Are you going to help or are you going to gape at me like this for another hour?" Rose Tyler smiled at him softly, traces of light teasing heard in her voice. As if on purpose, her smile was touched by her tongue – but he was not going to allow this have any effect on his reasoning. He was _used_ to that smile.

"I don't understand," he has finally admitted, after having tried and failed to find some rational explanation to Rose's being here. "Why are you here, and not with-" his eyes bore a certain hope in them. One he should not have had, in the first place. Rose was no longer his. Was _never_ his.

"He's _gone_ ," she sighed sadly. "Said the Earth's atmosphere was toxic to him, or something like that," Rose explained, growing impatient. "Do something. Or is the earthquake not something worth your consideration?"

The Time Lord ignored her most recent words. "What do you mean, the Doctor's gone?"

"Gone, like a dust in the wind. That's what he's told me."

"Dead," the Time Lord was not in the mood of softening his expressions. Even in front of Rose Tyler. "A part of me, dead and gone," he sighed. "Everyone… _everything_ is gone in the end."

" _I'm_ still here," Rose smiled at him soothingly.

 _Still_ …

"The point is, I have nowhere left to go. My family's gone. My home in the parallel universe is beyond reach. Not that it was _ever_ my home."

If it weren't Rose talking to him, the Doctor might have got upset about her bluntness.

"Stuck with you," he exhaled, his lips curling into an involuntary smile. Maybe this time, he would be allowed some happiness, maybe this was how it was supposed to be all along?

Rose did not dare to approach him. He _did_ try to send her away, after all. "Bet you'd rather be alone right now, though. I'll try not to be a bother," she spoke to him sincerely, ready to return to her room... perhaps even to her old one?

 _He_ came up to her, having something different on his mind. "Rose... You should know I-"

 _What_ was it she should have known? If there was one thing Rose knew for certain, it was that the Doctor was not going to use that tactics on her again.

"I know you _never_ say it. Whether you love me, hate me or are indifferent towards me… I will never know, yes?" She had known back then. But much time has passed since that dreadful farewell in Norway.

The ironic thing was he had been about to leave her in the very same god-forsaken place again… Her anger returned. "I'll just be off to my room, while _you're_ dealing with the ground-shaking situation, yeah?"

The Time Lord found Rose's hand and took it in his. "I'd rather you stayed," he muttered.

Before she could either say something in response or remove her hand, he thundered at his ship. "Will you _stop_ , TARDIS?"

Rose giggled. "You know she can't-"

She _stopped_.

The Doctor shrugged at Rose knowingly. She grinned. If there was _anyone_ who could do this…

His intense look was almost making her feel as if he were seeing her through. If anything, this deep stare was making her uncomfortable. And it hardly _ever_ did, not since-

"You'd been crying," he stated with assurance.

She shrugged, keeping her eyes locked with his. Rose has been dealing with all sorts of aliens in Torchwood alone, never afraid to look them in the eye. Why was it taking so much strength out of her to look at _this_ one? This was the Doctor. The Doctor. She never looked away. He did.

"Over _me_ ," he continued slowly, never allowing a trace of doubt slip through.

Rose's lips formed a wry smile. Lying to him was of no use. They were both well beyond that. "Even if so, what of it?"

The Doctor could think of a variety of reasons why a woman would be brought to tears because of a man. As for Rose… he dared not make a guess.

"You shouldn't have," he said instead.

Her response was brief, dry and provoking, just like the look in her eyes. "No?"

"I don't deserve your tears, Rose." _Don't deserve_ you.

She sent him a thoughtful glance. "Nobody deserves my tears, you're right, Doctor. As for deserving _me_ …"

He stared at her again.

"Stop it."

"But you can't- can't have-"

"You'd be surprised about what years of working at Torchwood does to you," Rose shrugged. "But really, you should not have left your thoughts so bare and undefended," she teased him softly. "You are not _a human_ to allow yourself such silly mistakes."

"You are not some sort of agent for that hole of a place, I dare hope?" He countered.

She grinned at him, relieved about the turn of conversation. "No. Besides, it _is_ a hole of a place. Particularly for someone who's had the misfortune of having fallen for-"

The Doctor smirked at her, not once doubting whom she was having in mind. "Hmmm… I wonder just who that might be?" he was completely at ease all of a sudden. His Rose was with him again, and this time-

The companion rolled her eyes at the Time Lord. "Does it need saying?" she echoed his today's words perfectly.

This has worked as a much-deserved slap for him. Before he could say anything, very likely one of his useless apologies, Rose turned away from him – but did not leave the room.

"I have missed you," he said. _So much._

 _You should have._ "Have you, now? It did not seem that way to me when you'd almost sent me away, yeah?"

Trying to send her away was a mistake, a terrible mistake. "I shouldn't have tried to keep you away. But this other Doctor was so-"

"Lonely?" Rose finished for him. "Aren't _you_?" _Aren't we all? Because someone wouldn't_ speak _his mind?_

The Doctor believed to have known what was coming. But instead of a Tyler slap her mother must have taught her well, her lips were on his. Only this kiss was nothing like the brief one she'd given the other him just today… he was thankful for that. That much, he certainly didn't deserve. Not from a certain Rose Tyler… but he would have been a fool not to have allowed her entrance. He has never _said_ it, that was true. But with their lips and tongues connecting and colliding with all this incomparable ferocity…

 _I know_ , Rose breathed into him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously...**

_But with their lips and tongues connecting and colliding with all this incomparable ferocity…_

I know _, Rose breathed into him._

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Three**

Rose moved away the next instant. "This won't do," she muttered. "If I'm keeping my promise, we need to slow down."

The Doctor stared at her, puzzled. "Why?" And what was the promise she was having in mind? She can't have meant her heated promise of _forever_? Or has she?

"You still haven't said _anything_ ," she shrugged, having given him a wry smile. No words of love. No words of devotion. "We can't proceed unless-"

 _Oh, Rose…_ The Doctor wished he could… _Knew_ he should not. _Wanted_ to, though.

She sighed at him. It was clear to her she was to keep her feelings to herself… Somehow, it has only brought up sorrow and anger within her. But she was a Tyler - even slapping him had to be justified.

"I'm off to prepare us both a cuppa," Rose said instead. "Any new preferences _?" After all this time?_

"None. My preferences haven't changed." _I have you by my side, at last-_ "Have yours?"

The girl – just the same as he remembered her… and yet so very different – shook her head, hurrying to leave. Was this it, she wondered. Has the glimpse of love the passionate kiss gave away was just that? A _glimpse_? No-one should have judged anything from a momentary sensation. It could have been a mere physical reaction to her closeness. If he won't say anything, least of all do something – neither would she.

The Doctor grabbed Rose by the arm. "Don't go."

She stopped, surprised. "I'll be _next door_!"

"Too far," he muttered.

"You might join me, if you want," Rose suggested, incredulous. That much would not have been a surprise, really – they were used to doing these tiny things together, close that they were. Not close enough. _Never_ close enough…

"I will, but first-" the Doctor pulled her close. _I'd like to know more about_ this _._

She breathed out, frustrated about the sudden effect this had on her. Intimacy was certainly not something the Doctor seemed to have had any idea about. No matter what he'd told her. On the other hand, understanding personal space was also an issue. " _You_ are the Time Lord. I guess you don't really need to know what telepathic communication is," she tried to free herself from his embrace, but he didn't let go of her.

 _I don't_ , he agreed. Mastering this kind of communication to have been able to use it with such an ease would have taken at least fifty years for a human, if one were exceptionally talented and gifted with… languages, for one thing. Rose seemed to have been struggling even with French... Before they've begun travelling together, at least.

She closed her eyes.

"Look at me, Rose," he asked. "If you won't tell me how this is even possible, how are we going to return to how we used to be?"

This was a very wrong thing to say. Rose freed herself from him without a word. _She_ has changed. If the Doctor were going to poison their forever with reminisces of their past, however pleasant it might have been…

"What is it, my Rose?"

"So I am _yours_ now, is this it?" Her voice bore no light teasing in it this time. No glee. Instead, she sounded flustered.

He was confused. "Have I done something wrong to have upset you so, Rose?"

The recent memory was comfortably here to have offered her a sufficient reason for her grumpiness. "Let's see. You have left me… Or would have, had the other you not fallen victim to something beyond his control. You want our relationship to return to how it used to be-"

He scratched his sideburn, thoughtful. "What's wrong with that?"

 _What's wrong-_ Rose exhaled, suddenly feeling inexplicably exhausted. "When a woman kisses a man and he _answers_ the kiss eagerly, the woman is naturally expecting for him to-" She was being foolish… no, she was being utterly _stupid_ to address these things when talking to him, not when they- were going _nowhere_ with this.

His response has maddened – saddened – the fair-haired girl further. "What's a man to do, when the woman in question is so utterly _kissable_?"

She slapped him. "Make the bloody cuppa yourself, Time Lord." The woman was gone out of his sight in less than a second.

"Rose?" He didn't mean to hurt her! He _loved_ her! The fact he never said it didn't mean- besides, she _knew…_

"Rose?!" This couldn't be. Was she playing some sort of a twisted game with him? He went straight to Rose's room, only to find she wasn't there. She _had_ to be somewhere!

Just like the Doctor, Rose was pacing to and fro in the chamber provided to her by the clever vessel conveniently on her side.

The Time Lord has eventually decided to try the telepathic communication. _I'm sorry, Rose!_

The answer came at once, as clear as day. She chose to ignore his apology, at least for the time being. _Hasn't your tea grown cold, Doctor?_

The alien remembered only then he was supposed to make himself some tea.

_Have been too busy looking for you. There's no tea to speak of. Not that I can think of a sufficient reason to have my tea without my forever-companion, yes?_

He knew, then. At least some of it… This has both made her tense and relieved at the same time.

The next thing he knew was Rose Tyler coming up to him. "Can't have that, can we?"

He grinned at her, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. _Don't do that again, please, Rose. It makes me uneasy, losing you in my own TARDIS._ The Doctor seemed truly concerned.

"Or what?" She was using her soft teasing voice on him again, as if nothing had happened. And that grin, _that_ grin… All of a sudden, all he wanted was to push Rose against the wall and snog her breathless.

She smirked.

The Doctor locked his eyes to hers, at the same time taking both of her hands in his and planting kisses on her fingers, one by one, no trace of lust in this action. _I'm so glad you're with me, safe and unbroken, my beautiful Rose…_

This time, Rose has only smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Previously…**

_The Doctor locked his eyes to hers, at the same time taking both of her hands in his and planting kisses on her fingers, one by one, no trace of lust in this action._ _I'm so glad you're with me, safe and unbroken, my beautiful Rose…_

_This time, Rose has only smiled._

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Four**

Her smile was wiped off her face the next instant by none other than the Doctor. "This has turned out nicely, don't you think, Rose?"

"No," she was glad he was too stunned to try and keep her from getting away. _How could he even think of it like this?_

The Doctor gulped. "You know what, Rose Tyler? You are not the only one suffering here, so you could just do me a favour and keep quiet. You are not the one who's had to make sure Donna forgets everything about me and about our travels and-"

Rose gave him a sad smile, before getting off to her room. She knew the Doctor had to live through this devastating loss all on his own. Just in case he felt like talking about it, she's made two cups of tea.

He did come to find her, not long after. The tea was still steaming. "I am sorry, Rose. I didn't mean to frighten you with this outburst, it's just-"

"It's fine," she assured him. The hard look in her eyes, however-

The Time Lord was not used to be given such looks... Especially not by Rose.

"Are you still angry at me for-" He knew what he'd attempted to do had been wrong in so many ways, but Rose could not sulk at him for this forever! She was the one making him… And everybody around – happy! That was what his- _his_ \- that was what his persistent pink and yellow human had to be! Happy!

Rose spoke with an unnatural calmness, having put her cup aside, only barely noticing him having done the same. "With no tears left to cry I have no choice but to be angry. You have hurt me. Even after all this, after I have returned…"

To _him_ , above all –

"You have chosen to- to give me away, as if I were a… a slave, or… or some useless thing!"

The Doctor understood she was right, guilt embracing him like an old friend. "Never again," he breathed into her fair hair before kissing her softly on the lips.

Rose backed away from where she was sitting, startled. "Is this only so much I deserve? A kiss from pity? Or is this a _I am so sorry_ kind of-"

She was furious… And very, very sad. Not even the TARDIS could enlighten her mood. Even if she tried.

"I won't... I _can't_ give you anything more, Rose... Would if I could- I'm sorry," he muttered, hardly able to meet her wide eyes, full of unmasked sorrow. There it was, the hard look in her eyes again.

She breathed in, succumbing to the inevitable. Only this time, her pain was deeper and stronger than ever. The Doctor did not need to know any of this, of course.

Rose cleared her throat, having made sure her mental barriers were truly up first.

"Sure thing. I'm sorry, too," the Londoner spoke dryly, unable to control the sarcasm seeping through her words. "Sorry the only thing to make you say it is when it's too late." _And even then, you hadn't… You should have, could have-_

The Doctor panicked. "A second more, just a moment… And I would have! I _swear_ it, Rose!"

 _Keep your oaths for someone else…_ She turned and left the room without a backward glance.

* * *

This time, she did not reply to his inquiries… Knew there was no way for him to find her, unless she chose otherwise. Or believed it to have been so… Until the Doctor _did_ find her, a wide grin on his face. Obviously, Rose did not need to know just how much pleading and bribing it took to have convinced the TARDIS to lead him to her.

"You have never told me how you did happen to acquire the telepathic ability, Rose."

The girl was too surprised to even be mad at the ship. "Oh. I have acquired a great many things. The TARDIS... She's never really left me." _Kept me going, even when I have begun doubting in everything._

He eyed her fearfully. Curiously. " _You_ almost _have_ , Doctor, but the old girl remained here with me, always," she placed her hand on her heart.

 _As you were in mine_ , the Doctor allowed his thoughts reach her mind, not really caring to hide anything from the pink and yellow girl. Not any more.

Rose pretended not to have caught that, even if she was trying her best not to grin at him.

"I have answered your question, Doctor. Answer mine. Can you promise me you won't run after every beautiful highborn lady there is?"

The Doctor shrugged, amused. "Still mad at me about Reinette?" He smirked.

She slapped him. Hard.

"Ow!" He whined, knowing full well this was well-deserved.

"Reinette was too good for you," Rose stated.

Having momentarily forgotten his reddened cheek, the Time Lord could not stop the biting words from escaping his lips. "Or are _you_ , Rose Tyler?"

"I could never have abandoned the man I love, for one thing," she spoke with a shrug, her eyes void of emotion. The Doctor's breath froze in his throat. How much was she capable of now? How much didn't he know? How different was this woman from the unbelievable companion he has grown to love?" The Time Lord realised he didn't care. Rose Tyler was here, and nothing else mattered.

"You _never_ have," he smiled. Rose, his Rose… She has returned to him, _for_ him, the Doctor knew that now. The unexpected kind of a smile she sent him – he has not dared to expect _any_ smile from her at this moment, if he was being honest – was _challenging_.

The Time Lord has had a lot of choices before him, Rose knew… But she was _not_ going to stand in his way now, whatever the reason. She had no right.

The conflicting emotions in Rose's mind were hard to decipher – because of her conscious efforts to make them so, very likely – but the Doctor did not want to go back now. Did not want to stop, not with her. Not ever again. Only go forward, wherever that was going to take them.

"Rose, I-"

She looked at him, the raw emotions on his face making her want to either slap him again or kiss him… Up until there was no way back.

Rose did none of that.

"Oh, Rose-"

"If you want to tell me something, please, go on," she muttered, having uselessly attempted to keep the uninvited and unwelcome uneasiness away from her mind.

"I can't… I simply cannot do this, I-"

Do _this. Why did this ring a bell?_ Rose sighed, expecting for the worst. Of course he couldn't. "Do you want me to leave, is this it?"

"No. Anything but _that_."

She couldn't leave. Not in the forever she'd promised him, not-

The Doctor eyed her pleadingly. "Can't you just _stop_?" His words have turned out harsher than intended. "For a second?" He hurried to add, almost uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Rose nodded. She knew she could probably find all the most important answers in his mind… Even if merely considering this felt incredibly blasphemous. With no words said openly, no confessions made to ease the process, her hands were tied.

The Doctor had to think of it himself, Rose knew. But he has been so close, it was so easy to-

 _Show me_ , she encouraged him softly, not daring to as much as touch the Doctor.

Taking a breath, he approached her. Her words have apparently affected him greatly. 

"You know I'd never leave you for any high-born woman. Ever. For any woman, for anyone, Rose."

This was unexpected. She could barely utter something in response. "Ever?" She echoed, afraid to breathe.

The Doctor was now impossibly close to her, his words only heard in her mind now. _You are too important for me, Rose._ _I have lost too much already. Could not risk losing you._

This was very beautiful. She was almost ready to give in. Almost. "You mean you can kiss whomever you choose, as long as I stay by your side? Is this how you see it, Doctor?" Rose had to force herself not to back away from his embrace.

Then, he gave up and placed his hands on her temples ever so softly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Previously...**

_The Doctor was now impossibly close to her, his words only heard in her mind now._ You are too important for me, Rose.I have lost too much already. Could not risk losing you.

_This was very beautiful. She was almost ready to give in. Almost. "You mean you can kiss whomever you choose, as long as I stay by your side? Is this how you see it, Doctor?" Rose had to force herself not to back away from his embrace._

_Then, he gave up and placed his hands on her temples ever so softly._

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Five**

Rose exhaled, tension and relief battling in her mind, as she placed her hand on his, as if asking him to stop.

He glanced at her.

She stuttered to reply to his unworded question for an instant. "W-what is- What is going to happen now?" Rose believed to have known this was going to have some irreparable effect on them both – and took a heavy breath.

_Are you afraid, Rose?_

The question took her by surprise. As did her answer. _Yes._

He smiled at her tenderly. Merely admitting this meant more than he had hoped for. The Doctor's words were barely audible now. "Know what, Rose Tyler? I don't know what is about to happen. Not an inkling there," he touched his own temple. Before she could react, he continued. "And I don't care. For once in all those years, I don't give a damn."

"No?" Rose did not know whether she should laugh or cry about this admission. But he was not done yet. "I don't know if this will bind us together even more or will it make you despise me. Hell, I don't even know what we are to each other at this moment!"

The companion – she was one again, was she not? – took her hand away from his, ready for anything.

 _Could you open yourself a bit more to me_? The Doctor demanded her softly, his words feeling like a soft caress in the parts of her mind Rose did not think of closing away from him. _You seemed to have had most of your brilliant mind closed off, the moment you have kissed me,_ he explained.

"There have been reasons. I was ready to strangle you there and then," she hissed, remembering.

"And now?" The Time Lord was watching her, hopeful.

"I'd rather not," Rose said simply, trying to somehow mask the mixture of feelings inside her.

"I won't get you to open yourself up to me, then?" he shrugged. "Or do you no longer hold the wish to physically hurt me?"

The Londoner sighed at him impatiently, not answering. The sooner this was done, the better… _Just promise you won't use any of this against me, Doctor._ Or else she'd be over and done with.

_Never. I could never-_

Rose gulped, still unable to fully trust him… But encouraging him to enter her mind all the same, because what choice did she have? There was no-one else. No person for him to send her to this time… Not knowing what the late version of him - but not him, not really - has said to her family, she could only hope that at least _that_ Doctor has not betrayed her trust.

"He hasn't, you know," the Doctor whispered at her with assurance. "He is- was – me, after all. Surely, I do know myself!"

Fighting the nagging wish to snap at him about how much he _didn't_ know, she stayed silent.

The Time Lord cleared his throat… Without any apparent reason. _I am about to enter your mind now, Rose._

She closed her eyes, ignoring his unuttered demands for her to face him. This was going to be _huge_. All of a sudden, _she_ felt the need to apologise… But the wish was gone as soon as it appeared.

Having finally _dared_ to enter her mind, the Doctor was overtaken with an eerie silence.

 _Haven't done what I'd asked of you, Rose?_ He was expecting as much, but it was unlike Rose to keep _everything_ at bay… It was enough to send a pang of sadness through his hearts.

 _Oh._ She seemed to have remembered herself. _Try the pink door._ The pink door was not one to be missed, indeed. It was the widest and the one almost screaming her name. _I'm so sorry._

He had wished for her to give away _something_ more. Rose believed she had nothing to lose... And offered him _everything_ instead. Following his uncertain steps without a sound, she was more than prepared for what was waiting for him inside her mind.

As for the Doctor… He opened the door and was overtaken with smells and feelings. Of roses. Of sadness. Of pain. And love. Love so desperate it almost hurt.

_Rose…_

_Go on. See everything_ , Rose was urging him forward almost angrily.

He stopped mid-step, never even getting through the threshold of the room with everything Rose has had to show him.

_Hurts, doesn't it?_

_It does,_ the Doctor admitted, suddenly aware just how much pain he must have caused her in one day or other. _Does this include what you'd experienced today?_ He _had_ to ask.

 _No. You'd need to go deeper inside for that._ Everything meant _everything_. The Doctor reminded himself he was a Time Lord and stepped inside…

It was only natural he jumped back as soon as he faced it, today's date burning in front of him. The pain seeping out was still fresh and torturous.

 _At least you're not screaming_ , Rose comforted him mockingly. He, a Time Lord, being made fun of by a human? The Doctor didn't care. _How did you survive?_ He asked her instead, almost ashamed to admit to himself he was honestly curious.

 _You are not the first to have_ betrayed _me, Time Lord. Hopefully, the last one._

 _Rose…_ The Doctor was petrified. It was best he left her mind as soon as possible, but she was forcibly making him stay. _Is there anything else you'd like to see, Doctor?_ She spoke with an unnatural sweetness. He stared at her. The dreadful things she'd gone through must have been _inhuman_.

 _About that… S_ uddenly, she was leading him to a different room in her mind. _It won't be as painful, promise._ The Doctor had no choice but to enter. The blinding golden light took his breath away. _You don't have to enter this one_ , Rose smiled at him, not surprised he has got as far from the chamber as possible at once.

 _Rose… Can we leave now?_ He grew tired of pretending this did not affect him. Just how much didn't he know about his pink and yellow girl yet?

She removed his hands off her temples with a nearly practiced ease. It was surprising to her this was only so much he managed. "You could have done so much better, Doctor," Rose chastised him playfully. "We haven't even got to Jimmy Stone yet."

 _How do you manage?_ His admiration for Rose grew even more, even if he'd thought it was impossible.

She sighed. "The same way you do. Pain, loss, torment… Let's not forget determination." Rose has not moved away from him. It was likely he was going to be the first one to break down this time.

_Who are you, Rose Tyler?_

"It's complicated."

Oh, how he hated when she used his words this way… But he was not going to give in.

"Try me?" The Doctor was just as good at this as Rose was.

She wrapped her arms around him instead, suddenly feeling as if having allowed him in was the most stupid thing she'd ever done. _This has only made it worse, yes?_

He has breathed a reply into her ear then, making her shudder at the contact. "On the contrary, dear. My brave, brave Rose." _Will you ever forgive me?_

Her eyes enlightened then and she _knew_. Knew that no matter his barely forgivable actions, no matter the feelings he was likely never going to admit... They were going to be fine. At least in the way they used to be.

No matter how much it hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Previously...**

_Her eyes enlightened then and she_ _knew_ _. Knew that no matter his barely forgivable actions, no_ _matter the feelings he was likely never going to admit... They were going to be fine. At least in a way they used to be._

_No matter how much it hurt._

* * *

**Chapter Six**

If the Doctor was expecting something to happen then, he was sorely disappointed. Rose has backed away from him without a word.

"Is something amiss, Rose?"

 _Too many things._ "No."

He did not question further. Maybe she was regretting having opened up to him.

"I'm tired," Rose said. Having let down her mental barriers, for however short a while, had been strangely relieving. However, she was not wishing to risk it again. Not any time soon. At least not showing the Doctor anything had been _safe_.

"Do you want me to lead you to your chamber, Rose?"

The hope in his question startled her. "No. I know the way. Thanks for offering, anyway," she gave him a forced smile. Rose realised she should have expected the feeling of emptiness within her. Returning to the way they used to be was going to be hard, she knew. Perhaps even impossible… But she was willing to take chances.

The Doctor realised the foolish step he'd almost taken with Rose was biting back at him. "Wait, Rose-"

She turned back at him mid-step, as if having expected this. "Hmmm?"

"Are you going to hate me for this almost-leaving-you thing for good?"

"No." Rose _wanted_ to hate him. But she could only hate herself for not being able to say something as uncertain as 'maybe'…

"Good," he managed, relieved.

"Yeah? What about discussing this tomorrow? My head's killing me…"

The Doctor believed to have known the reason of this. "I know what might help!"

"Sleep? Or aspirin?" Rose giggled at how he shuddered at the latter. "Really, though. Just leave a poor exhausted human be."

Instead of that, the Doctor laughed at the girl mirthlessly, his voice quiet. "Oh. Might I remind you, my precious Rose, that no ordinary human can do what you have done? I don't think the people in Torchwood are capable of ever learning of such thorough mental communication, let alone teaching the techniques of it. Spill it, Rose Tyler."

 _Shit._ She should have known some part of this was going to get out of her hands. "I have shown you more of myself than any reasonable person would have. This won't happen again. Now, would you _please_ excuse me?" She was flustered.

The Time Lord nodded at her. "Yes. Have your rest. See you tomorrow, _Rose_."

The final word felt like a juicy innuendo. Rose hurried out, not ready to face anything of that sort. Not from _him_ , and most certainly not now.

* * *

The night has been long for the Doctor. At least sleepless nights were no news for him. This time, the alien was determined not to waste it. He has spent the majority of the night trying to extract some part, some trace of Rose from wherever their bodies have touched during the day. Knowing them, this has happened quite often. The Gallifreyan has had to admit distracting his cells from hers was both time consuming and painful – and that meant something for one able to survive insurmountable amounts of pain without as much as a wince.

Must _I go through this?_ He asked the TARDIS when the level of pain has increased considerably.

The ship's reaction was puzzling. She gave out a sound that resembled laughter.

"Sure, old girl, I may be daft at times." _The pink and yellow human has taught me this, all right._ "But what's so funny about my efforts to know something more about Rose?"

The vessel's emotion eased to one of mere amusement the moment he went to the TARDIS laboratory with what the Doctor believed was sufficient for analysis. No results would have been ready until the next day. The Time Lord glared at the TARDIS… But let her have her way.

The Doctor has got up early and went up to check the results. The result table was blank.

* * *

"G'morning, Doctor," Rose startled him, winking at him slyly. "I don't exactly enjoy people getting to know more about me than I allow them to."

"What does that mean?" _Haven't you shown me all there was to know about you?_

"I might have asked of the TARDIS to wipe out everything you might have collected about me last night from her storage banks, yeah?"

The Doctor gaped at her. _Why?_

"Because maybe, just maybe… All you needed to do was ask, instead of making yourself go through all this unnecessary pain." _Too late now_ , Rose shrugged, gone from the research room as soon as she'd appeared.

The Time Lord was not letting the subject go. Not this time. It took him no time to catch up with Rose. Whoever she was now, her walking or running speed seemingly had not increased.

"Rose. You have opened yourself to me fully just yesterday!" Why, then, he felt as if he knew almost nothing about her yet?

"I _have._ Won't happen again, I've told you."

"But why do I feel as if I knew next to nothing about you?"

The girl sighed at him heavily, welcoming his hand in hers. It couldn't harm her, with her mental walls safely back in place. _He_ couldn't harm her. Never again.

The Doctor shuddered at the sudden lack of response from her. It was always there. Even without her conscious knowledge, _something_ was always there. "What have you _done_ , Rose?"

"More like what _you_ have done, Doctor. "Do you think I _wanted_ this?"

"What?"

"When I'd promised you forever, I meant it with my heart. But never have I imagined so did the TARDIS. I can't have imagined, can't have hoped…"

"What? The Doctor stared at her blankly, afraid to expect for the impossible. _What?_

Rose did not seem to have heard him. "I have done so much in your name, Doctor. Yet it seems the next time you get the chance you are running away from me again."

He was startled. "I have _promised_ , Rose!"

"You have. Back when Sarah Jane was there with us, you have."

 _Never to you_ , she recalled his words bitterly. "But what do the Time Lord promises mean? Really? What do _your_ promises even mean?" She knew what those were. Nothing but empty words. And she _was_ stuck with him. Only this time, the phrase did not have any trace of hope in it.

"Listen to me, Rose-"

"No, _you_ listen to me, Doctor. I have sacrificed everything for you, that's true."

"Rose-"

"But I have done so willingly. Would do it again, if given the chance. But-" She grew pale all of a sudden. "But the forever I have promised you-"

"I can't stop you if you choose to leave me, Rose Tyler," he spoke heavily.

 _Bloody Time Lord._ Suddenly she wished she had not placed the walls up so soon. "I am trying to _tell_ you something, Doctor!"

"Why not _show_ it to me, darling?"

Rose averted her eyes. She has done it, all right. All it's done was leave her feeling utterly exhausted and mentally devastated. The Doctor has visited her mind's palace, surely. But never the rooms she'd hoped he would.

"What for?" She managed, dismissing the unpleasant thoughts.

"I could help you!"

The girl shook her head, ignoring him. "You'd told me you could not risk losing me."

"I remember."

"That's the funny thing, though, Doctor." _My Doctor._

The Time Lord caught her eyes. "I meant it, Rose!" _Can't you understand it?_ He inhaled heavily, suddenly uncertain if she could even make out the words not uttered out loud, with her inner walls brought up so high it was getting more and more uncomfortable trying to reach for her mind.

 _I understand._ Some of her protective shields were lowered just enough for that kind of telepathic communication. _There is more to it._

Holding her hand was not enough all of a sudden. He wanted to hold her in his arms... But didn't dare. _Tell me._ "Tell me, Rose!" The Doctor was growing anxious.

"Why don't you ask the TARDIS?"

"She is on _your_ side. Up to the point where- _You_ tell me what is wrong." _Please_.

Rose sighed. "Your precious ship might have taken my promise of spending forever with you seriously." _Almost too seriously, as it comes._

The Doctor was once again left staring at her, incredulous.

"That's what I thought," she offered him a tiny sad smile. "But it's too late to do something about it."

_Whether we want it or not, we are bound to stay together for a very, very long time._


	7. Chapter 7

**Previously…**

" _Your precious ship might have taken my promise of spending forever with you seriously."_ Almost too seriously, as it comes.

_The Doctor was once again left staring at her, incredulous._

" _That's what I thought," she offered him a tiny sad smile. "But it's too late to do something about it."_ Whether we want it or not, we are bound to stay together for a very, very long time.

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Seven**

The Time Lord was afraid to consider the possibilities. Afraid to hope. He went for asking her bluntly, even if he believed to have known what this meant. "What do you mean?"

Rose felt unwelcome tension rising inside of her, but chose to ignore it.

The Doctor clarified his question. "What do you mean, 'whether we want it or not'?"

She bit off a sigh, frustrated. "So, _now_ you're asking. I have things to do, Doctor. Sorry. Meet you later?"

"After you've had your morning cuppa?" He was hopeful. She half-smiled, still unable to be angry at him. Not in the way she believed she should have been. "Perhaps."

"Mind if I join you? For a cuppa? Just like all the times before? We could-" The Doctor was trying everything he could to make the suddenly heavy atmosphere between them lighter.

"Fine," she spat sharply. Because why not? If the rebuilding of their relationship – a strong overstatement, perhaps – had to begin somewhere, this seemed a safe enough place.

This sounded anything but fine. Something was wrong, but she would not say. The Doctor was afraid he knew just what that was… He grinned at her instead, pretending not to have heard the dismissive tone of her voice. " _Allons-y_!" He chirped excitedly.

She bit her lip. Some pain might have helped, but none came. "Have you not been listening to me at all, Doctor?" Rose stopped him. "I don't know about you, but this situation terrifies me."

"What? Having tea together? I swear, the tea the TARDIS provides us with is just as delightful as always. The way you like it!"

Rose giggled at him bitterly, shrugging. "You know that's not it."

 _Talk to me_ , his voice reached for her mind expectantly. _Please, Rose_.

The girl wrapped her arms around herself instead. _I know nothing about this. Nothing!_ You _talk to me, Time Lord. And leave_ nothing _behind this time!_ Rose has had way too many things left unsaid by the Doctor. "It's much too late to hear whatever you can tell me of the unexpected emotion this fills me with, but I'd rather face it now than later. As this clearly plays some crucial part in my life. _One you have comfortably forgotten to inform me about_ , she hissed.

The Gallifreyan paled. "Rose- trust me, I know as little of this as you do!"

That was the problem. She trusted him with her life, even when it was clear he was keeping something important from her.

Rose shrugged at him. She realised it was likely she knew _more_ of this than he did. It was dread-inducing. "Yeah?"

The TARDIS enveloped her in trust and assurance. It has been _her_ doing, in a way. Only now, there was no way back for either of them…

The Doctor smiled at his companion softly, feeling some of the emotions aimed at Rose himself.

"Yes."

"The thing is," Rose spoke quietly and calmly, as if afraid the pleasant sensation of belonging was to be gone any second, "you have not shared _a thing_ with me yet, Doctor."

 _Haven't I?_ The Doctor looked sincerely puzzled. He would have sworn differently. "Oh," he realised what she meant. "I'm afraid it would be too much for you to take, Rose. My mind, my memories, my-" _feelings._

She smiled sadly at him. "I understand."

He shook his head, _No, Rose. You don't._

The four words bore such intensity in them it took great strength from Rose to keep herself on her feet. The girl eyed him searchingly, unable to back away a gasp. _What was that_ , her wide eyes seemed to be asking. She had to admit to herself there was a lot she still had to learn about the Doctor.

 _This is what sharing myself with you would feel like._ Only it would be much, much stronger. Devastating for ordinary humans, even. But she _was_ capable of dealing with telepathic communication. With the most difficult kinds of it. This can't have meant she wouldn't be able to deal with _this_. The things he'd seen in her brilliant mind implied something entirely different.

_Something incredible._

Rose's eyes sparkled in excitement and disbelief at his revelation. She has barely remembered to breathe. This felt like something unreal. _Would you, Doctor? Would you do this for me? Share this with me?_ She knew, _knew_ he would.

He nodded.

"That was what the analysis has been for," the Doctor explained, catching the glimpse in her admiring brown eyes. "It has not been successful, as you must know," he smirked at her. "You would need to allow me enter your mind again someday," the Time Lord muttered almost apologetically.

 _Why? Why would I do that?_ Rose has almost choked at the unexpected certainty in his words, sending him a – not at all heartfelt - grimace.

"Because we would _need_ to do this."

 _Do what?_ The young woman chose to look ignorant. Maybe then, the Doctor would open himself to her more.

 _Rose…_ The Doctor glued his eyes to hers, never losing patience. _My dearest, sweetest human being…_

It took Rose all the strength she had not to wrap her arms around him in relief. His words were soft and tender and felt honest. She smiled at the Time Lord uncertainly. "You _do_ realise it's the _human_ part I am no longer certain about?"

 _Rose-_ It was clear he was fighting himself in order to either tell her something or not to.

Rose sighed. "Whatever it is, I _can_ take it. If you feel it's not worth my consideration, let me go."

He stared at her, startled.

"To my room," she clarified, a wry smirk on her lips. Rose sighed, noticing his look was suddenly nowhere as tense.

 _Don't go?_ The Doctor asked her quietly. "I have been meaning to ask you if- if-"

If she has forgiven him? If she needed any kind of favour from him? If the open love inside her mind were not an illusion? Her mind was filled with possibilities, one more dreadful than another.

The Time Lord has kept his worried eyes on her. Only when the unpleasant emotions seemed unlikely to leave her thoughtful expression for a while much too long for someone as joyful as Rose Tyler did he put an end to it. "Stop it, Rose," he whispered at her kindly. "It's going to be all right. We are going to be all right."

All right _is not good enough, Doctor,_ she smiled at him sadly. _You know it as well as I do._

The Time Lord sent her a foolish smirk. _You are right, my Rose. Everything is better than that whenever you're here,_ he admitted.

The Londoner gave him her most sincere smile since that dreadful almost-goodbye on the last day, finding no reason to delay it further. "What was the question you'd been meaning to give me?"

 _Are you sure you would be able to handle_ this _? Living with me? Every day? Every moment?_

"I don't know," Rose admitted in a small voice. _But I'm willing to try._


	8. Chapter 8

**Previously…**

" _What was the question you'd been meaning to give me?"_

Are you sure you would be able to handle _this_? Living with me? Every day? Every moment?

" _I don't know," Rose admitted in a small voice._ But I'm willing to try.

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Eight**

"Rose…" The Doctor did not know what else to say. He was ashamed of his own actions, aware the girl has had every right to be mad at him. For as long as she felt like it. It was up to him to fix the situation – however impossible.

"Let's… start all over again?"

The woman looked at him searchingly. "Surely, you don't mean right from 'Nice to meet you, Rose'?" She smiled fondly at the memory.

He returned the smile. "No, I don't think going this far would be a good idea."

Rose knew it wasn't. "Of course not," she agreed. "What was it you've had in mind, Doctor?"

He couldn't, simply couldn't step on a wound so fresh. Merely trying something this stupid might earn him another sight of Rose in pain. Pain caused by his own foolishness. The Doctor was afraid every reminder would only increase her sorrow… And he did not feel ready to meet even a glimpse of the devastating feeling – one threatening to eventually win over her unquestionable, all-consuming love for him that he has met in her mind. One his stupid words have planted in there.

"It's not important from where we start, as long as this renewed relationship of ours-"

Rose has said nothing against it, which was good, very, very good – "-doesn't make you sad. I don't want you sad, Rose!"

She sighed. "I don't want to _be_ sad. It just comes." _The memories just return to me._

The Time Lord was confused. Surely, his brilliant girl must have taken the possibility into consideration. "But you'd told me- are you sure, completely certain you are ready to share my woes, my sorrows? Learn about and go through the impossible things I have done? Ones I will blame myself for until the end of my long, long existence?" His eyes darkened, face now contorted in pain at the memory of his planet burning… of his planet _dying_.

Rose took the Doctor's hand and held it, aware this was helping him to compose himself. "It's all right to be sad sometimes, Doctor. But there are things that cannot be changed. Gallifrey was bound to be destroyed."

The Time Lord stared at the girl incredulously, almost breaking away from his companion in shock. "I don't remember to ever have told you-"

 _Its name?_ Rose was honestly surprised. "It might have slipped your lips once or twice in your sleep, Doctor."

"Has it?" He couldn't believe it. It was easier for the Doctor to believe that yes, she might have seen him asleep – even Time Lords needed sleep - but he never would have allowed her into his room, never! Not if he had a choice in it, which wasn't the case yesterday… Maybe he should have become worried when Rose did not seem surprised one bit when in his chamber, not with all the unusual equipment, not even with the photos of the two of them here and there… There have been more photos of them on the walls than those of him and other companions. Of course, this could always be fixed... Not that he wanted it to be. Not any time soon. Not while Rose was with him…

"You should have warned me beforehand, Doctor," the companion exhaled, having assumed the Time Lord was still uneasy with her increasing abilities to sense his emotions _and_ catch his thoughts. Rose had to admit to herself this saddened her.

Her tone has suddenly changed into a lighter one. "Besides, it was so long ago I cannot actually remember any of it," she lied. Rose had the TARDIS to thank for the fact the alien could not remember her visits to his chamber. Could not remember her holding his hand and whispering soothing words into his ear whenever the nightmares became too much for her Time Lord. He had been whispering names of those he had lost. Apologising. Praying. Regretting.

"You shouldn't worry about it, Doctor," Rose assured him. "I could ask the TARDIS to stop warning me about your _outbreaks_. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Strangely, the ship did not react.

He was speechless. "When I was in your head… why haven't I seen any of _that_? One trace?"

"You weren't looking in the right places. Besides, these are _your_ nightmares. My mind is filled with those of my own. _Ones you still cannot decipher._ Anyway," she breathed out. "I will avoid your room from now on, don't you worry, Doctor!"

The Doctor shook his head. "You don't have to, Rose. I have nothing to hide from you."

This has been a start. "Yeah?" Then, she remembered. Even though he's just claimed this simple fact, the Londoner knew what she has still _wanted_ to hear from him… those three words she never would.

He grew annoyed all of a sudden. "For God's sake, Rose Tyler! Why won't you _stop_!"

She was puzzled. "Wha-"

_I am trying. Trying so hard!_

If this was how he wanted it… _What?_

_I know what you want to hear! I simply cannot. Not yet._

Rose sighed. "Don't say it, then. I surely could wait for several more years," she gulped, knowing her words have only made it worse.

 _Maybe one day._ Maybe he would tell her he loved her. Maybe not.

His hand was still in hers. "How are you, Doctor?"

"I'm fine."

That has been a lie, it was clear from Rose's sad eyes she saw it. "Do you want anything? We can't stay trapped in this unpleasant situation forever," Rose breathed. "I'm sure there is something that could brighten your mood-" She didn't dare suggest they went travelling somewhere. _He_ would have to be the one suggesting it.

Unwillingly, the Time Lord let go of Rose's hand. "How about you change your clothes, for a start?"

She gaped at him in surprise, but composed herself the next moment, her voice filled with expectant teasing. "Any preferences, Doctor?"

"Why, yes," he shrugged at her, his voice emotionless. "Something bright. Maybe the bright yellow dress?"

Oh, she remembered that one. Her surprise was evident. Having bought it after some particularly nasty experience on a cold and gloomy planet, Rose has made sure it was hidden somewhere far, far away inside the TARDIS for the Doctor not to see. It was bright, of a very thin texture, almost see-through and very, very short. Much shorter than what was considered acceptable in places other than one's bedroom, as well. At least the Doctor did not seem affected by such things.

"Why?" _How do you know about this one?_

 _This is my ship, Rose,_ he shrugged, amused because of the startled expression on her face.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Why would you even want me to wear this particular dress? It's very-"

"This is exactly why I want you to wear it, Rose. This far into the future, nobody cares."

Rose knew she should have been happy they were travelling the universe again.

The girl blinked, as a realisation hit her. " _You_ care."

He sent her a wolfish smirk. "Oh, yes!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Previously…**

_The girl blinked, as a realisation hit her._ "You _care_."

_He sent her a wolfish smirk. "Oh, yes!"_

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Nine**

Rose has countered his smirk with her own. "Only if you promise to wear something as revealing, hm?"

The Doctor froze, not having expected something like that from Rose. "I don't-"

"Don't do that sort of thing?" Her smirk widened.

"Er-"

"Yeah. I might have guessed as much."

"Oh, just you wait, Rose Tyler!" He took his suit-jacket off.

She pretended to be shocked. "How dare you… such… such indecency! Such _nakedness_ ," her eye-roll was very much in place.

"I have only just started," the Doctor winked at her. "But do you really think you are capable of withstanding _that_? He almost mewled at her seductively.

She blinked. Surely, he knew she loved him. Knew she wanted to-

Now, he was simply being unfair. _I'm sure you know how to deal with drooling companions just fine_ , _Doctor,_ Rose bit harshly, suddenly annoyed.

"As a matter of fact-" He understood the implication perfectly. "No." It was not his fault this body of his was so attractive! The Doctor froze. "Is it what you intend to do? Faint? Just to prove your point?"

Rose grinned at him. "Not unless you are actually as _sexy_ as you secretly think you are," she rolled her eyes.

The Doctor was obviously enjoying himself. " _You_ find me sexy, Rose."

She sighed heavily, not bothering to deny the obvious. "As does every other human wherever we go. _Whenever_ we go. That's hardly an advantage."

"But the fact I am always by _your_ side helps, surely?"

"You _try_ to be, I'll give you that," the girl grimaced. _Which you succeed in for approximately… twelve minutes_.

"Anyway," she shook her head at how much this resembled a _domestic_ chat. "What is the planet you are taking me to? What is it famous for? What sort of species live there? Are they friendly?"

There was his Rose, always with the right questions. "Well- they might look a bit- spotty at first. And, well, a bit clammy. But you'd be fine, as long as you don't come to close contact with them," he assured. "As soon as they are aware you are my _beloved_ , we would be safe."

"Is that so?" Rose eyed him with mistrust, suddenly unsure about his definition of _safe_. "What about the _nobody cares_ part?"

"The moment they understand you belong with me, darling-"

It did not feel encouraging in the slightest. "And what is it we need to do to make them believe we are, in fact, a couple?"

" _Couple_ 's not the word that society approves of. They find it's nowhere as defining as- he said an alien word, then shuddered.

"Why wouldn't the TARDIS translate that word for me?" Rose was suddenly less and less in the mood to travel there.

"Well- The TARDIS _wouldn't_ translate that." The ship squeaked angrily. "She thinks-" The sound was twice as loud now. "Fine, fine, old girl! I get the idea! You are absolutely right," he touched the coral almost soothingly.

Rose was having none of that. _What is it that is so wrong about the word?_ Of course, she knew the ship well enough to make a more or less correct guess as to why some word would not be translated. "If I ask the Doctor very, very quietly?" She bargained. "If he responds to me in an equally quiet fashion?"

Apparently, the ship thought it best to simply ignore their discussion. "If not a _couple_ ," Rose was determined to learn what it was either way, "what is it? How would they call us? Or can't you say?"

"Well-" The Doctor was clearly uncomfortable. "A very, very loose translation would label us as "shagging mates," he did not look at her.

"And _that_ is the place you want to take me to? Why?"

_Because this is the only planet where I can easily proclaim you as mine. Because that is the place where staring at you shamelessly would only be encouraged._

Oh. The Doctor must have lost himself in his thoughts deep enough to forget-

Rose shrugged at him instead, amused. _Would I be allowed to stare at you shamelessly, too?_

 _If you promise not to pass out in front of me,_ he teased.

 _Do you promise to wear something worth looking my eyes out, Doctor?_ The seduction in Rose's voice augmented with every word.

* * *

Both Rose and the Doctor were, if anything, looking for an adventure.

She was a bit uncertain… and a bit curious. He was determined… and quite a bit terrified.

"We need to register as shagging-mates first," the Doctor has never let go of Rose's hand, looking daggers at every being that seemed to be even the tiniest bit curious. He did not lie about people not caring about what one was wearing. But the looks they kept giving Rose - _his_ Rose - were just a bit too intrusive.

The moment they entered what seemed like an office, the Doctor almost sighed in relief at there only being one other creature in the room.

"Oooh, another one!" A creature, looking more or less like a grey sticky mess of spotty skin, just as described, smiled at them – if that could be taken as a smile – encouragingly. "A couple? Or shagging mates?"

"Is there a difference?" Rose asked innocently.

The one responsible seemed excited all of a sudden. It was likely nobody bothered talking with it more than necessary. " _Couple_ is the newest title they have come with. Stupid philologists. I still think-"

"Language is bound to change over time," the Doctor sighed, seemingly agreeing with the approach expressed. "Anyway – do we need to do anything, or the usual procedures would do?"

Rose's eyes widened. Even the Doctor's half-open shirt – it was indeed hard not to start drooling, she had to admit – was not enough to shake the sudden dread away from her. _Usual procedures?_

The TARDIS has apparently been too furious at them both for deciding to risk the trip anyway to even imply her existence in their minds…

"These should do, yes," came the answer. However, the visible mixture of relief and excitement was gone off the Doctor's face almost as soon as it appeared. "I hope you are prepared to pay the fine for so shamelessly taking a _fair-haired_ creature – human – female for a shag mate?"

 _What?_ The Time Lord stared at her, not understanding.

"Another one…" The tone of the creature's voice was pitying now. "Does anyone read pieces of legislation any more?"

The Doctor felt like slapping himself. Although that would not have been enough. _I'm so, so sorry, Rose!  
_

"We're kind of lost. Have been away for a while. I am sorry… what year is this?" He managed.

_I am so going to kill you._

The grey being was not at all surprised. "In which calendar?"

"Earth… _if it is still called so_ – London?"

"Ah. Of course you are not aware of the law, then," the words were almost soothing. It's 8527. But this does not excuse you from breaking the law. You still owe us fifty thousand. Another fifteen if you wish your blonde possession to be marked as untouchable."

"So it's all business and money nowadays," the Doctor noted sadly, handing the credit stick.

The creature seemed friendlier after having received the money. "You must really love your fair-haired friend. Do you need a reminder as to what _usual procedures_ entail?"

"No, thank you. It was nice talking to you!"

* * *

The moment they left the building, Rose was afraid to take one step outside. "What was the reason of bringing me here, exactly?" She was walking towards the TARDIS briskly, with the Doctor nearby, too shocked to even respond to her inquiries. This was never supposed to happen. All right, so they have missed his intended year just by a couple hundreds of years…

Maybe, just maybe, he might have got too excited about the chance to take his Rose to this particular planet… One which was bound to be destroyed in a couple of years, by a fair-haired creature, as a matter of fact… But that was not the point. Historical facts were not what mattered.

Back inside the TARDIS, Rose was staring at him, wide-eyed. _Doctor!_ _We have not… you have not… Then where does this weird feeling of_ belonging _come from?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy upcoming Easter. :)

 

**Previously…**

_Maybe, just maybe, he might have got too excited about the chance to take his Rose to this particular planet… One which was bound to be destroyed in a couple of years, by a fair-haired creature, as a matter of fact… But that was not the point. Historical facts were not what mattered._

_Rose was staring at him, wide-eyed._ Doctor! We have not… You have not… Then where does this weird feeling of _belonging_ come from?

* * *

**Persistence**

**Chapter Ten**

The Doctor seemed to be just as surprised. Then, he realised his mistake.

"Oh…"

"So?"

"I was not precise enough with my request, it appears," he admitted, uncomfortable. "Did not take into consideration just how strong it was going to be, with the credit provided being-" "Sorry. I am so sorry!"

"I get that. Just tell me how long it is going to last. A week?"

He shook his head.

"A month? Two months?"

Horror on his face seemed to have only grown in intensity. "No."

"Longer?"

_Damn it._ "Yes."

Rose exhaled. "Will I at least get a proper answer from you, you-" _Traitor. Coward. Time Lord._

"Why, yes. _Human_." The Doctor felt he had the right to bite at her just as well. _Do you think I wanted this?_

_You did,_ the girl exhaled. That much was obvious for her. "Undo it, if you so fancy. It would be better for me to live with someone who does not regret the steps he took."

Unintentionally, Rose Tyler has hit him straight to the point.

_Oh, Rose_. She was right. Always, so right. "Okay. Assuming undoing this were possible, Rose Tyler… Wouldn't it hurt _you_ more, considering-"

She almost hissed at him in frustration. "Oh, really? Since when do _you_ have the right to judge what is better for me? Since the moment you realised I have ignored your stupid – or should I say, genius - decision to leave me behind? Since the moment I have opened my mind for you? Do you think this has made me vulnerable? Has made it possible to model me according to your wishes?!" She exhaled. "No. Not even when you have apparently done something unforgivable. Bound me to yourself for- who cares, _Time Lord_. If this is all you can do, taking all these intruding steps without asking me first… I feel _sorry_ for you." With these words, she went out of the room.

The Doctor simply stared after her, long after Rose has left him alone. _I'm sorry._

No response.

That was just about what he deserved, the Time Lord understood. The price he had to pay.

_Do you know, Rose, that making you mine has indeed been a part of my wildest dreams?_

He believed to have heard Rose's breath hitch at his words, wherever she was. The TARDIS was a world of her own, sometimes of indescribable proportions.

The Doctor continued, trying to imprint as much honesty in his admission as possible. _I have been ready to give you everything you pleased, remember?_

_But most of all, Rose, I wanted the impossible. To have you by my side forever._

A heart-wrenching sound, one resembling a sob, has reached him then.

The Time Lord could feel her shock piercing him through – that was a thing he chose to consider later - but it was a _now or never_ moment. _Do you know why, after having entered your mind, I freaked out?_

He did not wait for any sort of reaction. _Because I understood it was already too late. Too late to try and shoo you away from this dangerous life. Now, your life is my responsibility, Rose._

The Doctor might have expected a slap for this alone. At least that would mean _some_ contact.

Rose arrived to him soon enough, her words barely above a whisper. "Or do you mean my _forever_ is your responsibility?"

Her words bore no anger in them. No recognisable emotion. "You could have said. Or were you afraid I would object to spending _forever_ with you?"

The Doctor noticed how she has self-consciously missed one tiny word in her phrasing, but said nothing.

_I am here. Granting you the impossible._ There he stood, gaping at her. It was always a possibility. With some help from the TARDIS and from those from a distant planet, but-

Rose watched him with mistrust, then shrugged. If she had to be the one getting the Doctor to talk, so be it. _I wouldn't mind another cuppa. Want one?_

He nodded, without looking her in the eye. Could something so important be done with so little effort? The Doctor could not help but doubted it.

"I am not going to give you any questions. Not one. Not until you feel like talking to me, Doctor."

_Could you-_

Sometimes, however rarely that happened, the Doctor felt the unnecessary sharpness of human speech cutting him, his native tongue feeling much more smooth and welcome. Either that or telepathic communication.

She understood. _Of course._

A mouthed _thanks_ was acknowledged with a nod, and that was the last he saw of her for more than three hours. The Doctor knew his companion could be forgetful at times, but when it came to tea – never.

_Rose? Is everything all right?_ His feet were carrying him to where the girl was waiting for him, according to the TARDIS. He found her in the farthest corner of the library, one he must not have visited for years.

_Three hours, two minutes, forty-three seconds._

He blinked. _Really?_

What startled him more was the pile of books placed neatly on the floor. Some of them were supposed to take humans days to finish, let alone understand their hidden meanings. At least, they were in English. _In English!_ No, this couldn't last time he saw them, they were-

Rose followed his look wordlessly. The surprise, shock and dread on his face were easy to identify.

_First, a cuppa?_ She offered.. Instead of being mad at him, the girl chose a different approach.

He agreed, glad the tea was just as he liked it. But the Doctor could only swallow one gulp, his emotions getting hold of him. _How could you- The TARDIS would never-_

_Several hours. All this information. Is this what worries you?_

A dreadful realisation hit him. She looked just as he remembered her. A shade paler, perhaps, but so was he, when- His hand went up to her forehead.

"Are you sure you are all right, Rose?" Telepathy was suddenly the last thing on his mind.

_A cuppa is all I need,_ she assured him. _There is nothing better than that when dealing with- how do you call it? Anyway, you should know, Doctor._

It took him minutes to fight off the disbelief. Suddenly, the books made sense. The empty hours made sense.

"You should have called me, Rose! I would have come! Would have helped!" The Doctor was hurt. He was the closest person left to her, and she-

"I tried. I screamed and I swore, then I begged… She said- you know what I mean- said- _It's for the better_ , she said-" The way Rose's voice was breaking at the memory was all it took for the Doctor to sit down beside her and make the tender closeness envelop them both.

"However have you made her provide you with the English translations?" It had to be the Doctor ruining the promising atmosphere. "She doesn't translate Gallifreyan."

_For me, she does,_ Rose smiled at him fondly. "We are closer ever since-"

"She's translated _everything_?"

"Just those she thought I needed to read, silly," she spoke tiredly." Thank you, by the way, Doctor." _For being here with me._

Rose was exhausted, he could see that. Once she was awake after the well-deserved deep sleep, the connection between them was going to kick in.

But first of all, he was going to have a serious talk with his ship, now conveniently quiet.


End file.
